I've been watching the skies
They've been turning blood red
Not a doubt in my mind anymore
There's a storm up ahead

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love, my love

Every thing I have I count as loss
Everything I have is stripped away
Before I started building I counted up these costs
There's nothing left for you to take away

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love, yeah my love

I'm a fighter fighting for control
I'm a fighter fighting for my soul
Everything inside of me surrenders
You can't silence my love
You can't silence my love

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough

You can't silence my love

Yeah, I said hello hurricane

Hello Hurricane - Switchfoot

My friend (Jackie) and I are leaving for Haiti a week from today. We're packing up our coolers and setting out on the biggest adventure of my life thus far (maybe not the biggest of her life, considering she's been to Kenya twice already). We'll spend 3 months helping start a women's business program which will enable them to support their families financially. Also, their children will be living with us for several months while they complete the program - a sort of mini-orphanage. It's been an exciting few months getting to this point, but I've never been more certain that God had these plans long before we did.

Jackie had the dream first. In fact, the day of the earthquake, she mentioned to me that she and a couple friends has already talked about quiting school and leaving for Haiti as soon as they could get a flight out. We soon learned that the airport in Port Au Prince had been shut down due to damage and they weren't allowing any planes in. However, there was talk about a summer trip, or perhaps taking fall semester off and spending more time there. Over the next few weeks, Jackie joined the whispers being fed into my dreams and thoughts by Jesus. She encouraged me to stare the request from God in the face and decide this day who I would serve. She looked me in the eye and asked me if I was going to Haiti; would I be obedient, or not? Would I trust Him with my life, or not? Although this may seem like it's 'against the rules', I made a demand. I gave God one week to provide me with a specific organization to work with, otherwise I was saying no. Not because I didn't want to go, but because I didn't trust myself enough. I wanted to be certain that I was walking in the path that He had laid out for me, not a path I forged on my own. I wanted confirmation that this was Spirit led and that His affirmation was sewn throughout this entire dream. And he heard my cries. A few days after my tearful and trembling request, the Haiti Foundation Against Poverty shared their story of brokenness, trust, and diligence following the tragedy. I'm proud to be able to work with such an honorable organization, and with such a gracious and genuine leader: Mallery Thurlow. Thanks for allowing us to join you! I can't wait to get there!

Speak up!

As some of you may know, I work at the Family Christian Bookstore in Saginaw. I could tell a thousand stories about the interesting people that I meet there. Some make thank Jesus for blessing me such a terrific job, others make me want to fight! But yesterday, a man came to the counter while I was on the phone with another woman, and I could hear him talking to my coworker about how he used to be a Jehovah's witness. I listened as he explained how it wasn't until adulthood that he came to Jesus, and that his entire family has disowned him. No contact, no family reunions... nothing. He reminded us that it was imperative to bow down to Jesus Christ, and no other name. His mother, he told us, said that she would never understand how he could leave his family for Christ, a man who she believes is arbitrary and unimportant. This man glowed when he said Jesus' name, and while I could see he had agonized over the loss of connectedness with his family, he still had hope. He reminded me so much of Peter and John in Acts, after they were arrested for healing the lame beggar. The council could find no grounds to keep the men in custody; they did however charge them not to speak or teach in the name of Jesus (to keep it from spreading). Peter and John responded with this: "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard."

I've recently been listening to Jason Upton's new album. I could probably write a novel about what God has revealed to me through each song, however, there's one in particular (Jacob's Dream) that moves me to tears every time I hear it. The song is a narrative; God is singing about Jacob.

He says this:

Finally Jacob's lying down, and while he sleeps I will dream of a generation not known for their crowns or success, but a King...

...who was not so much as interested in crowds, or pleasing men, but KNOWING ME.

Because My dream's not what you do.

Jacob, will you dream for me the way that I have dreamed for you?

I'm discovering (again) that just because I've learned something in the past about the nature of God and our relationship, doesn't mean I've fully applied that to my life. And it especially doesn't mean that I'll never have to learn it again. I've been reminded more times than I can count that I am not saved by what I do for Him. I'm not saved by my accomplishments here; and thank Jesus for that, because they are far too few and insignificant. But over the past few months, in the midst of all the preparation and thanking Him for the call to Haiti, I've gotten lost in His pleasure with my obedience. I DO believe He is pleased with me, but that's not the root of what He's asked. Nothing would please Him more than for me to dream for HIM like He dreams for me.

He's begging for us to stop trying to win Him, and just dream for Him.

It's in those dreams and in that intimacy that He'll show us the secret things...

wringing out the life

Hello, friends! First, I'd like to explain that I accidentally deleted my old blog... oops! But I'm a little relieved that I get to start over. I'm tired of not finishing what I began; not following through on my adventures (as small as they may seem, like this blog). I'm excited to have a place to share my thoughts and observations; to write what I learn and learn from what I write. I may not be as funny as (my brother) Ben, and I definitely cannot write as poetically and truthfully as my best friend Carly (I've never been more entranced by anyone's writing - I recommend reading her entire blog, beginning to end), but I still want to share what I do have. And what I have has been given to me by Jesus - life. Experiences. Dreams, and relationships. Eyes and ears. I'm praying that my God will give me insight, and that He would reveal things both to me and to anyone who stumbles onto my blog. I'm really excited for this! I get to write down my story, process it, and wring out all the life and wisdom I can from it.

This is the beginning of a new season; thanks for joining me in it :)